Flirting can be confusing, particularly if you’re shy, nervous, or just not very good at reading subtext. It often seems as though there’s an entire secret code that you skipped the day it was distributed. You’re not alone if you’ve ever left an encounter thinking, “Wait, were they flirting with me?” The reality is that a lot of signals of romantic interest are simple to dismiss. So, let’s dissect 10 of the most universally overlooked signals that a person may be attempting to reveal that they’re interested in you.
10. They Mirror What You Do
You cross your legs, they cross theirs. You use a particular word or phrase, and now it’s part of their lexicon. This sort of automatic imitation—known as mirroring—is not coincidental. It’s often a subtle indication people use to indicate they’re interested and involved. It leaves people feeling connected, but because it’s not obvious, most are unaware it is occurring or what it could signify.
9. They Try to Get You Alone
In a group, notice who continues to find ways to talk to you privately. Whether they stay behind when others disperse or seek out the privacy of the moment to speak, those are signs. It may be mere politeness or coincidence, but if they’re regularly making time with you privately, there’s likely more behind it.
8. They Remember the Little Things
A person who recalls your go-to snack, a tale you related weeks prior, or what happened at your big meeting? That is not coincidental. It’s a great sign they’re attuned to you personally. Human beings don’t normally retain those things unless they’re interested, so pay attention when another person mentions them.
7. They Offer Surprising Compliments
We’re all accustomed to hearing the usual “you look nice” or “cool shoes” kind of comment. But if someone compliments something surprisingly specific—your laugh, the way you narrate, or your musical tastes—it’s probably because they’re paying more attention than most people. These quirky compliments are usually a sign that you’re admired and interesting, even when they do sound a bit random.
6. Their Teasing Has a Flirty Edge
Joking around, light teasing, or playful challenges can all be ways someone shows they’re interested in a fun, low-stakes way. It can be easy to mistake it for friendly banter, but if their tone becomes more playful when it’s just the two of you, or they seem especially engaged in these moments, it’s probably more than just friendly.
5. They Hold Your Gaze and Smile Often
Eye contact is probably the most effective nonverbal flirting device there is. If someone’s eyes are locked on you a beat too long, or their eyes catch yours when something’s particularly funny or significant, that’s a good sign. Add that to lots of smiling, and they’re likely feeling something, even if it’s not verbal.
4. They Seek Casual Touch
A brushing against your shoulder, a tap on the arm in the middle of a joke, or brushing something off your shirt—these small things can say a lot. Touch is an old vehicle through which people gauge romantic interest in a subtle, usually deniable manner. If a person makes repeated excuses to touch you, it’s worth noticing what they’re saying with their body instead of their lips.
3. They Laugh More Than They Need To
Let’s be real: not all of our jokes are gold. But when someone laughs a bit too hard or seems perpetually entertained by what you say, it could be because they’re having more fun with you than the punchline. It’s a nice but revealing way people show attraction, particularly if they’re entertained regardless of what you’re saying.
2. They Slowly Get Bolder
Flirting tends to escalate. Perhaps they begin by being friendly, but gradually the compliments become more personal, the eye contact longer, or they lean in a little closer than normal. These probing signals—couched in just a sufficient amount of ambiguity to err on the side of caution—tend to indicate they’re feeling out how you will react. If you reciprocate, they can continue. If you don’t, they’ll back off.
1. You Suspect Something—But Doubt Yourself
One of the most missed cues? That annoying voice in your head telling you, “Maybe they like me…” We all second-guess ourselves, particularly if we have been burned previously or lack confidence. But intuition is strong. If you are sensing something, you could be right. The best way to be sure? Attempt sending a little signal back—such as a compliment or lingering eye contact—and observe what occurs.
Flirting can be particularly difficult for anxious or neurodivergent individuals, who may overanalyze or misunderstand social signals. Dating coaches and therapists have suggested interventions such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and gradual social exposure to build confidence and enhance comfort in reading interactions. Flirting is not smooth-talking or memorizing all the right lines. Flirting is a shared interest, shared moments, and an emotional connection. When both parties feel safe and are seen, that’s when the magic is created. So go ahead and be unsure the next time you wonder if someone’s flirting with you, take a deep breath, look a little harder, and trust your gut. You could catch the spark before it disappears.