Self-love is discussed everywhere nowadays—on Instagram, in therapy sessions, and even over dinner with friends. But what exactly does loving yourself look like? And more importantly, how do you apply it? If you’ve ever questioned, felt awkward, or even doubted the concept, you are not alone. The reality is, self-love isn’t a moment of “aha” enlightenment—it’s a daily, imperfect practice that requires self-awareness, patience, and work. Here are ten tried-and-true tips to build it, from ten to one.
10. Seek professional help when you need it
Loving yourself may be particularly challenging if you’ve struggled with low self-confidence for many years. A therapist or counselor can assist you in working through old ways, learning more about yourself, and creating healthier attitudes toward who you are.
9. Be kind to yourself when you talk to yourself
Your internal voice plays an enormous role in how you perceive yourself. If that voice is typically critical or condemning, attempt to change the tone. Every day, mention at least one thing you did correctly, however insignificant. With time, it becomes a habit of self-respect.
8. Create boundaries—and hold them
Saying no is not selfish; it’s required. Guarding your time and energy just means you’re respecting your own needs. Just because you’re open doesn’t mean you’re available, and just because you can say yes doesn’t mean you have to.
7. Create space for joy and rest
As with any relationship that is worth maintaining, the one with yourself requires maintenance. Set aside time for activities you truly love—whatever that might be: reading, painting, strolling in the park, or just sitting quietly with a cup of tea.
6. Acknowledge what sets you apart
Your life history, your eccentricities, your physique—these are all pieces of your mosaic. Finding the courage to love them, instead of covering them up, is a daring move toward self-acceptance. Whether it’s keeping your hair in a style you prefer or embracing your own path, lean into it.
5. Love every feeling, not merely the good ones
Self-love isn’t about being joyful 24/7—it’s about hearing what you need. Even painful feelings have something to say to you. Journaling can help you befriend them and discover ways to get what you need in those times.
4. Challenge the old stories you’ve heard
At times, the things we believe about ourselves aren’t even our own—they were given to us by someone else. Find these stories, disrupt them, and revise them so they are written in your truth, not another’s opinion.
3. Select nurturing people and environments
Be around people who appreciate your worth and push you to grow. If relationships drain you, then it’s fine to distance yourself. Find online or offline communities where you feel comfortable and accepted.
2. Learn to accept yourself as a whole person
You don’t have to love yourself entirely to still treat yourself with respect and compassion. Self-acceptance involves accepting your faults and imperfections without self-criticism, only open inquiry.
1. Treat yourself with kindness, especially when it’s difficult
The biggest act of self-love is treating yourself with kindness when you are struggling. Practice giving yourself the same niceness and patience you’d provide to someone you love a lot.
Self-love isn’t something you “check off” one day—it’s an ongoing practice. Some days it will be automatic, other days it will feel like an effort. But every little decision you make to take care of yourself makes you more resilient, rooted, and happy.