Navigating relationships can be tricky, but nothing quite compares to the emotional rollercoaster of being involved with a narcissist. If you’ve ever found yourself questioning your reality, feeling drained, or wondering why your partner’s affection seems to flip on a dime, you’re not alone. Let’s get into the 10 most revealing signs of narcissism in relationships—ranging from the subtle red flags to the most destructive habits—so you can recognize the patterns and safeguard your well-being.
10. They Exhibit Jealousy and Possessiveness
Intense jealousy and possessiveness are typical. Narcissists may consider their partners as parts of themselves, causing unjustified accusations, tracking where you are, or trying to control with whom you see and talk.
9. They Don’t Have Many Long-Term Relationships
Even if they have a big list of acquaintances, narcissists are incapable of building close relationships. If your partner has no long-term friends and becomes upset when you spend time with yours, this may be an indication.
8. They Exhibit Signs of Substance Abuse or Mood Disorders
A greater risk of substance abuse has been attributed to narcissistic personality disorder by studies. Narcissists self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, particularly when they are not receiving enough admiration, and even exhibit depression or anxiety symptoms.
7. They’re Addicted to Social Media
Social media provides immediate gratification, and narcissists can become fixated on their digital persona. Individuals with NPD are much more likely to be addicted to social media, as Talkspace reports, focusing on popularity and likes.
6. They Behave Entitled and Continuously Seek Validation
A narcissist is motivated by a sense of entitlement to demand praise and attention, but not return in kind. Pay attention if your partner flies off the handle when they’re not at the center of the universe, or becomes possessive about your other relationships.
5. They’re Controlling
Everything must be controlled by narcissists. When you attempt to set boundaries or show independence, they might try to guilt-trip you, attack you, or control you through affection.
4. They Struggle with or Lack Empathy
One of the defining features of a narcissist is empathy impairment. According to licensed therapist Rebecca Weiler, narcissists can’t quite put themselves into others’ shoes and may not apologize or know your point of view unless it suits them.
3. They Can’t Take Criticism
Even constructive criticism is perceived as a threat. Narcissists get defensive, dismissive, and even hostile when criticized. Their low self-esteem renders them hypersensitive to anything that threatens their perceived greatness.
2. They’re Obsessed with Appearances
From physical appearance to perceived achievement, narcissists are obsessed with how they’re perceived by other people. They might attack your physical appearance or become obsessed with flashy things and status symbols.
1. They Dominate Conversations
If each conversation revolves around your partner’s accomplishments, thoughts, or anecdotes, you may have a narcissist on your hands. They employ gossip as a means of garnering the attention they seek, tending to embellish their triumphs and interrupt others.
Identifying these signals is the first step towards self-protection. Narcissistic relationships have a pattern of idealization, devaluation, and discarding in store for you, keeping you in a cycle of emotional rollercoaster highs and lows. Love bombing, gaslighting, and manipulation are all in the playbook. According to the Counseling Center Group, narcissistic relationships are a rollercoaster that will make you doubt your reality.
So, how do you deal? They suggest establishing firm boundaries, being emotionally detached, and employing the “gray rock” technique—being as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible to deter manipulation. Take care of yourself, surround yourself with loyal friends or a therapist, and use “I” statements to explain your emotions. Don’t argue or attempt to prove your point; narcissists feed on arguments and emotional responses.