Parenting has always been a tough job, but today it often feels like walking a tightrope without a net. The pressures are constant, the expectations higher than ever, and the support systems that should be there sometimes crumble just when they’re needed most. If you’ve ever wondered whether parenting is truly harder now—or if it just feels that way—you’re not imagining things. The evidence shows that it really is.
Parents always report more stress than other adults, and almost half of them say that their daily stress is overwhelming, said the U.S. Surgeon General. A 2023 American Psychological Association survey discovered that 48 percent of parents with children under age 18 felt completely overwhelmed most days, compared to 26 percent of non-parents. Even more foreboding, 41 percent of mothers and fathers said they were so stressed out most weekdays that they couldn’t function, while 42 percent admitted feeling numb from pressure.
So what’s changed? First, parents are spending more time with kids than earlier generations, but that time is often more scheduled, more concentrated, and far more monitored. Social scholar Lisa Strohschein refers to this as the “intensification of parenting.” Families have shifted from the more authoritarian, top-down style of earlier decades to a more balanced one, in which children’s input and feedback matter and parents take pains to show up emotionally. This has resulted in tighter relationships but also suffocating pressure to be always on call, supportive, and perfect.
The modern age has only added to it. Social media is a lifeline that gives advice and support, but also a minefield. The relentless scroll of ideal birthday parties, perfect family snaps, and “super parents” who have it all together can devastate confidence and mental well-being. Parenting coach Julie Romanowski calls this “pure poison,” and studies agree—it’s been linked to higher rates of stress, anxiety, and depression, especially among mothers, by the culture on the internet.
Money is also a significant source of stress. The expense of child care has risen dramatically over the last decade, and many are barely making ends meet to afford food, shelter, and medical care. Studies demonstrate that food insecurity alone is powerfully linked with depression, anxiety, and stress among parents. For most, financial insecurity is not just white noise—it’s an everyday reality that permeates all aspects of family life.
In addition to money worries, time demands have mounted. Parents work longer hours than ever before and are also expected to be fully involved with their children. Today’s working parents average more than 33 hours a week on the job, and hours worked by mothers are up nearly 30 percent from the mid-1980s. At the same time, both moms and dads are putting in more hours of direct child care, from playtime to homework help. The cost is apparent: less time for sleep, relationships, and self-care, and an endless march toward burnout.
New fears about the safety and well-being of children add their gloss to all of this. The youth mental health crisis and heightened worries about school violence provide parents with plenty to fret about. Nearly three-quarters indicate worrying their child will struggle with depression or anxiety. For those parents whose children have special health difficulties, anxiety is up even higher, twice as much as the poor mental health of parents who have children with no such condition.
Millennial parents, in particular, are shifting the definition of raising children. They will more readily emphasize gentle parenting, empathy, respect, and communication. A study by Lurie Children’s Hospital reported that almost three-quarters of millennial parents think they are doing a better job than previous generations, and many embody gentle parenting. Yet even while trying to shatter toxic patterns, almost half confess burnout, guilt, and continued challenges with balance.
Work-life balance hangs over us like the specter of possibility, but the truth is not a tidy 50-50 division. As one older mom explained it, balance isn’t perfection—it’s embracing that life’s messy, priorities change, and sometimes getting through today is good enough. The pressure to “do it all” frequently sets parents up in a martyr-like state of mind, where their own needs are an afterthought. In the long run, it only increases exhaustion, resentment, and a sense of never being good enough.
The solution can be to rethink expectations. Professionals urge parents to find “good enough” rather than perfection, to say no more frequently, and pay attention to what counts at work and home. Asking for assistance—from a partner, a pal, or a professional—is not a weakness but wisdom. As one mother astutely expressed it, the objective isn’t to be a good mom, a good dad, or a good employee, but to do it well enough and release the guilt over what cannot be accomplished.
Parenting in modern times is more than a sprint. The issues are authentic, the stakes frequently seem hopelessly high, and the safety nets are wafer-thin. But by having realistic expectations, relying on one another, and not forgetting to take care of themselves, parents can find happiness and purpose in the mess. As the U.S. Surgeon General reminds us, taking care of yourself isn’t a separate thing from taking care of your family—it’s included. And that’s a fact worth clinging to.