Body language is the secret ingredient of human connection—particularly dating and relationships. Granted, words are important, but the magic in fact occurs in the quiet areas between them. Research by Albert Mehrabian, as cited by the University of Texas Permian Basin, indicates that “communication is 55% nonverbal, 38% vocal, and 7% words only”. That is to say, your body is communicating—loudly—whether you know it or not.
Here is a countdown of the five most intense body language cues you can utilize (and notice) to establish trust, ignite attraction, and strengthen your bond in dating and relationships.
5. Smiling and Laughter
A smile is more than a friendly smile—it’s a sign understood by all—it’s a sign of warmth and welcoming. Not only does smiling make you look more appealing, but it’s also infectious. As reported by the University of Texas Permian Basin, “research also indicates that both men and women find people who maintain eye contact and smile more appealing.” Laughter is also a great sign that a person is having fun in your presence and feels at ease with you. If your date is laughing and smiling a lot, it’s a sure sign that the chemistry is good.
4. Mirroring and Engaged Posture
Mirroring is when someone subtly replicates your body language, posture, or way of speaking. This unwitting mimicry is a vector of rapport and bonding. As stated by an accomplished matchmaker at Tawkify, “mirroring your date’s body language subtly can give you a sense of connection. It indicates that you’re in sync with their emotions and can create a sense of rapport.”.
Open posture—leaning forward, directly facing your partner, and having uncrossed arms—indicates openness and interest. If you catch your date copying your moves or leaning forward as you talk, you’re probably forging a strong, mutual bond.
3. Eye Contact
Eye contact is the strongest of all nonverbal signals in any conversation. It expresses confidence, interest, and honesty. Good eye contact indicates to your date that you’re engaged and present. As per Tawkify, “making good eye contact sends the message of confidence and interest.
It’s a two-way street – by looking someone in their eyes, you’re indicating that you’re present in the conversation and interested in what they’re saying”. There’s even research that claims pupil dilation can be an indication of attraction—so if you notice a twinkle in their eye, you could be onto something.
2. Touch and Proximity
Physical proximity and light, proper touches are old-school indicators of attraction and ease. When your date is sitting or standing near you, or lightly touching your arm or shoulder, it’s usually a clue that they sense something between you. As noted by Tawkify, “flirting cues such as light touching on your arm or shoulder can signal increasing attraction”. Naturally, everyone’s comfort level differs, so always pay attention and be considerate of boundaries.
1. Active Listening and Congruence
The most undervalued body language cue is really the way you listen. Active listening entails that you’re present, with a nodding head, thoughtful responses, and being interested—not merely waiting for your turn to speak. As HelpGuide says, “effective communication is less about talking and more about listening. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker is trying to convey”.
Congruence—when your words, your tone, and your body language are all in agreement—creates trust and credibility. If your date is actively listening, nodding, and their body language matches their words, you’re in the presence of someone who’s truly engaged.
Body language isn’t a magic decoder ring, but it’s a powerful tool for building connection and understanding in dating and relationships. The next time you’re out with someone special, pay attention to these signs—both in yourself and your date—and watch how much more meaningful your interactions become.