Divorce is no longer a whispered secret or a rare event—it’s a reality for many couples, and the reasons behind its prevalence are as complex as relationships themselves. If you’ve ever wondered why so many marriages end, you’re not alone. Let’s count down the ten most significant reasons experts say divorce rates remain stubbornly high.
10. Repeat Divorces and Statistical Distortion
It’s not only that more are divorcing; it’s that others are divorcing more than once. As divorce lawyer Russell Knight explains, the low rate of divorce is partially the result of repeat offenders—those who marry and divorce more than once, swelling the numbers. He adds that “the same people keep getting divorced,” so the stats can appear more frightening than they actually are for couples marrying for the first time. The drama of divorce is remembered, and peaceful marriages go about their lives without anyone noticing, which makes the issue even larger.
9. The Influence of Social Media and Technology
Social media is not only used for posting vacation photos—it’s a breeding ground for relationship tension. Monica Miner, LMHC, explains that sites such as Facebook and Instagram make couples feel incompatible, as the partners compare their lives to other people or become jealous of online relationships. Technology can also serve as a distraction from face-to-face interaction, creating emotional distance and, ultimately, breaking apart.
8. Shift in Women’s Role and Greater Independence
Women now enjoy greater financial and legal autonomy than at any other time in history. Jean Pierce, author of Divorce Help For Parents, states that previously, women remained in miserable marriages because they did not have other options. Today, with increased availability of education, work, and legal rights, women can exit marriages that do not benefit them. This is empowering but also helps drive divorce rates up, because remaining is no longer the sole option.
7. Unrealistic Expectations and Poor Preparation
Most individuals go into marriage wearing rose-colored glasses, hoping that their spouse will meet all their needs. Leah Marie Mazur, a certified divorce recovery coach, suggests that getting married young—before really knowing yourself and your spouse—sets the stage for disappointment. Unrealistic expectations regarding romance, compatibility, and what marriage ought to be like tend to conflict with reality, resulting in dissatisfaction and, in some cases, divorce.
6. Economic Pressures and Financial Stress
Financial issues are the ultimate marriage-killer. Debt, loss of a job, or conflicts about money are all sources of financial stress that can weaken even the best of relationships. Mark Blakey, the CEO of Autism Parenting Magazine, notes that couples in today’s world may be facing more financial pressure than ever before, leading to increased conflict and divorce appearing like an escape route. Studies also indicate that economically secure, highly educated couples tend to remain together more often, while hardship increases the risk of breaking up.
5. Adultery and Unmet Emotional Needs
Cheating is often a symptom, not just a cause, of marital breakdown. Chelsea Smith, an addiction treatment specialist, says infidelity usually happens when emotional or physical needs aren’t being met. Whether it’s a lack of intimacy, attention, or appreciation, unmet desires can drive partners to look elsewhere. Once trust is broken, rebuilding it is tough, and many couples don’t make it.
4. Lack of Personal Growth and Emotional Maturity
Emotional maturity is not a fad—it’s a requirement for marriage. Love and dating coach MiCole Chanele describes that when one person develops and the other doesn’t, the gap opens. If a person raises their expectations about how they should be treated, they might not tolerate being criticized, belittled, or emotionally abandoned. The pandemic brought this shift faster, as folks reevaluated their lives and relationships and sometimes grew up and beyond their partner.
3. Breakdown of Communications
If there’s one common thread to most divorces, it’s a lack of communication. Nancy Landrum, MA, marriage coach and author, refers to it as the number one reason for divorce. Couples who fail to learn respectful and effective ways to communicate—and listen—end up with miscommunications, resentment, and emotional disconnection. As Joseph Law Group Managing Partner James Paul Joseph so aptly puts it, “Unexpressed expectations go unmet; anger, hurt, and resentment grow.” And without candid communication, issues fester until too large to resolve.
2. Changing Social Norms and No-Fault Divorce Laws
Divorce was once taboo, but times have changed. Jean Pierce writes that it’s socially acceptable today to break up a marriage, even for a reason that would have been unimaginable years ago. No-fault divorce legislation eases it to get out without having to establish fault, which has an upside and a downside. On the positive side, individuals are not stuck in terrible marriages; on the negative side, it can make quitting appear to be the lesser of two evils when there’s hardship.
1. Lack of Prioritizing the Relationship and Exhibit Respectful Behaviors
At the core of it, however, many couples merely stop prioritizing their relationship. Respect is the fertile soil in which love flourishes, Nancy Landrum is convinced. When couples fail to cultivate their relationship—by speaking each other’s love languages, respecting each other’s dreams, and showing everyday appreciation—distance and resentment grow instead. The demands of work, parenting, and life can set marriage aside, yet without intentional effort, even the most robust bond can wilt.
Divorce is seldom the product of one incident. It’s more often a gradual disintegration, spun from unrealized expectations, inadequate communication, and changing priorities. Knowing these doesn’t make it less difficult, but it may cause couples to recognize where they might be getting off course—and, possibly, get back on the right path before it’s too late.