Keeping love alive in a long-term relationship isn’t about grand gestures or cinematic moments—it’s about the daily choices, small acts, and shared commitment to growing together. If you’ve ever wondered how couples stay close after years or even decades, the answer is often found in the little things. Here are the 10 most important ways to keep love and connection thriving, counting down from 10 to 1.
10. Embrace Personal Development and Inspire Friendships for Each Other’s Aspirations
A healthy marriage is made up of two growing individuals. When you desire your partner to be able to pursue their dreams and assist in obtaining their goals, you’re saying, “I see you, and I want you to thrive.” Marriage.com says that placing yourself first and motivating your partner to do the same will rejuvenate intimacy and give your marriage a new lease on life.
9. Make Time Together a Priority
Life gets messy, but relationships need regular, undivided time to survive. Whether it’s the weekly coffee break, evening walk, or sitting together phone-free, these are the moments that build intimacy. Research studies found by Verywell Mind show that spending time in dialogue is linked with greater closeness and satisfaction.
8. Share Duties and Daily Life
Partnership is about doing things together. Doing shared domestic chores, chores, and errands, and helping each other out with everyday jobs isn’t sensible because it makes sense—it’s a sign of respect and love. When both parties work together, there’s less resentment and more sense of being together. Marriage.com says that taking things in common at home is a sign of respect and turns your home into an actual partnership.
7. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Open communication is the building block of any sound relationship. This means expressing your feelings, listening in a non-biased manner, and speaking the truth even if it hurts. Hiding from issues or stifling feelings only widens the distance between you. According to Dr. Dave Currie and Glen Hoos, openly communicating problems and listening to one another regarding complaints is the way to restore closeness.
6. Show Physical Intimacy and Affection
Physical contact—hand holding, hugs, cuddles—makes us feel secure and intimate. Intimacy isn’t all about making love; it’s the small, loving moments that say “I love you” without speaking. A study by Verywell Mind found that affectionate touch is linked with more positive body image and relationship satisfaction.
5. Surprise Each Other with Thoughtful Acts
It’s not about expensive gifts—it’s about showing you’re thinking of your partner. A handwritten note, their favorite snack, or a spontaneous compliment can mean the world. As shared by men in a BuzzFeed thread, small gestures like a cup of coffee in bed or a quick text can make someone feel truly loved.
4. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation
Gratefully letting your partner know you value them, again and again and out loud, sets the stage. Show appreciation for the little things, recognize their efforts, and inform them you don’t take them for granted. For Dr. Andrea Towers Scott, thankfulness causes you to turn your focus away from irritability and toward appreciation and will make you a stronger person.
3. Speak Up and Forgive
Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. How you navigate them matters. Neglecting conflicts or seething over resentments only serves to increase the distance. Approach conflict openly, settle things gently but firmly, and forgive. As Dr. Dave Currie and Glen Hoos explain, unforgiveness causes disconnection, yet extending grace and pursuing reconciliation will heal emotional distance.
2. Foster Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy is the feeling that you’re truly known and accepted. It’s built through great conversations, empathy, and vulnerability. When you share your hopes, fears, and dreams—and your partner’s—you create a place of safety for love to grow. As Verywell Mind describes, emotional intimacy is a powerful predictor of marital happiness and satisfaction.
1. Make the Little Things Count Every Day
At the heart of enduring love are the little, mundane things—remembering the way your partner has his or her coffee, sharing a goofy meme, or simply being present. These small things build security, trust, and joy. It’s the little things that matter in love, making us stay tied for years to come, says Sanjana Gupta.
Love is not a big thing—it’s a habit every day. Focusing on these fundamentals, you create a relationship that is not only built to endure, but built to thrive.