Being a good husband isn’t just about showing up for the wedding or remembering anniversaries. It’s about building a foundation that lasts through the storms, the stress, and the everyday grind. If you’re wondering what it really takes to prepare for marriage—and to thrive once you’re in it—here are the seven most important things every man should do before tying the knot, counting down from seven.
7. Prioritize Jesus as Your Most Important Relationship
You must get your priorities in order before you are able to love your future wife. From XO Marriage, “No matter if you are single or married, Christ must first be the priority. The more you love Him, the more room you will have to love yourself and the rest of humanity.” It’s not about attending church—it’s about allowing your faith to influence your character, your decisions, and your relationships. When you make Jesus your anchor, you’ll find the strength and wisdom to lead your family with humility and grace.
6. Learn How to Be a Gentleman
Forget the stereotypes of manhood that glorify recklessness and selfishness. Real men know how to treat women with respect and kindness. According to XO Marriage, “If you want to be a great husband one day, and if you want to be all God made you to be, you’ve got to have the courage to be countercultural. You need to learn how to treat a woman like a lady and like a sister in Christ.” That is, losing the off-color jokes, learning gratitude, and showing up with integrity. Being a gentleman is never out of fashion.
5. Take Your Singleness as an Opportunity to Serve
Selfishness kills marriages. If you wish to be an amazing husband and dad, begin thinking about others today. Serving is the cure for self-centeredness. As emphasized by XO Marriage, “Look for opportunities to serve. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” Volunteering, mentoring, or even merely assisting your community will instill the empathy and responsibility habits that your future family will need.
4. Prioritize Sensual Purity (Both Mentally and Physically)
We dwell in a world full of temptation, but healthy marriages begin with discipline. XO Marriage says that “If you want to keep God’s standard for sensual purity. You have to be intentional about it. Get accountability in place.” This is not shame—it’s guarding your heart and your future wife’s trust. Establish boundaries, get support, and true intimacy is made on respect and self-control.
3. Create a Disciplined Financial Plan
Financial stress is at the top of the list of reasons couples struggle. Don’t wait until marriage to get your finances in order. As shared by XO Marriage, “One of the best things you can do for yourself and your future family is to develop a financial plan NOW.” Learn to live below your means, save for the unexpected, and cultivate generosity. Your prospective wife will appreciate the stability and peace of mind you have to offer.
2. Take Up Responsibility Rather Than Avoiding It
Marriage is about stepping up, not checking out. As XO Marriage puts it, “Be a man who seeks responsibility, not one who runs from it. Be a man who says, ‘You can count on me.'” Whether it’s mentoring someone younger, supporting your family, or merely being dependable in the workplace, responsibility fosters trust and character. Your future wife must know she can rely on you—particularly when times get rough.
1. Work Hard
Hard work is more than making a salary—it’s creating a legacy. As XO Marriage describes, “Men often fail in marriage (and in life) simply because they don’t know how to work hard. They give up the moment something becomes difficult.” No matter what you’re doing—repairing things at home, providing for your family, or reaching your aspirations—grit and determination will pay off. Marriage will try your patience, but a strong work ethic will get you through any storm.
Aside from these seven fundamentals, being a good husband is simply to show up every day intentionally and with kindness. Jay Payleitner, in his book “52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands”, is convinced that if your wife senses your love without condition, she’ll stand taller and feel more confident about herself. Little things—such as going for walks, doing hobbies, or just listening—can make a world of difference for your marriage. Payleitner urges husbands to create a list of the little things their wife loves and make a conscious effort to bring them into their marriage.
Emotional intimacy is another building block. As Forging Bonds describes, “A wife’s desire for heart-to-heart connection makes it very difficult for her to live with a husband who never opens up about what’s going on inside him.” Husbands are challenged to know their wives, listen with empathy, and open up their own hearts—even when it’s painful. Emotional intimacy is not chatting; it’s being open and safe with one another.
Lastly, keep in mind that marriage is a partnership, not a competition. It’s not about keeping score or waiting for your wife to do the same. As Jay Payleitner states, “If I give her what she likes, it gives me joy as well.” When you invest in your marriage with humility, sacrifice, and love, you’ll discover that your wife flowers—and so will you.