Emotional intimacy is what makes a relationship go from average to amazing. It’s being heard, seen, and valued by your partner. When it’s fostered, it helps build trust, grows love, and fortifies the connection you share. Here are 10 of the best tips to develop and enhance emotional intimacy in your relationship.
10. Laugh Together
Laughter is a universal adhesive. Sharing jokes, humorous anecdotes, or playfulness maintains your relationship light and happy. Based on research quoted by Lauren Tetenbaum, true laughter is associated with higher relationship well-being. Even in the midst of disagreements, a judicious joke may ease tension and remind you of your connection.
9. Be Supportive and Empathetic
When your partner is having a tough time, sometimes the most you can do is listen and let them know you care—without racing in to solve the problem. Feeling heard and understood is part of being empathetic, and as emphasized by Healthy Relationships Utah, learning how your partner likes to receive support is key.
8. Have Meaningful Conversations
Move past small talk. Ask your partner about his dreams, fears, and favorite memories. Deep questions ignite vulnerability and enable you to get to know one another on a deep level. As implied by Practical Intimacy, even strangers can create incredible intimacy in less than an hour by asking the proper questions.
7. Be Physical with Your Partner
Touch is an intense vehicle for expressing love and safety. Holding hands, hugging, or cuddling sends oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” into your bloodstream, deepening trust. Nonsexual affection, such as gazing into one another’s eyes or holding hands, indicates to your partner that they’re worth more than their body.
6. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation
It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong, but regularly expressing gratitude for your partner’s efforts and qualities shifts the dynamic. Small gestures—like a thank-you note or a heartfelt compliment—can have a big impact. Appreciation nurtures positivity and reminds both of you why you chose each other.
5. Spend Quality Time Together
Life becomes hectic, but taking time for one another is not optional. Whether it’s a night out, a stroll, or even just eating together without interruptions, quality time enables you to reconnect and rekindle your connection. Even the simplest activities, such as playing a board game or preparing a meal together, can resurface intimacy.
4. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Open communication is the foundation of emotional intimacy. Communicate your thoughts, emotions, and experiences in an honest way, and listen carefully when your partner is speaking. Honest talk—about joys and concerns—fosters trust and helps you feel really seen.
3. Improve at Feeling ‘Bad’ Things
Emotional intimacy is not only about sharing the good. Being able to sit with your own hard emotions—and companion through their hard emotions—is the space of vulnerability. On Practical Intimacy, learning to manage and share all feelings, rather than just the positive ones, is a deep connection.
2. Reflect on Death (Memento Mori)
It sounds grim, but thinking about the transience of life will get you more in the moment and appreciative of your relationship. This ancient Stoic exercise, “Memento Mori,” will remind you not to take your partner for granted and to appreciate the time you have with them.
1. Truly Give A Shit
At the center of emotional intimacy is sincere care. Are you genuinely interested in your partner’s welfare? Do you listen with attention and empathy, inquire about their life, and work at putting your relationship first? As Practical Intimacy says, “Genuinely Give A Shit.” When both partners regularly come to the table with sincere care and effort, emotional intimacy flourishes.
Establishing emotional intimacy is a process that persists beyond a single act. It’s a matter of being present, being vulnerable, and making deliberate, small choices daily. The payoff—a deeper connection, more trust, and enduring joy—is far greater than the effort required.