If you consider the individuals who have quietly influenced your life, a grandparent’s face is most likely what comes to mind. Whereas parents tend to receive the attention in discussions regarding the development of children, increasing research and touching anecdotes show that grandparents are the unsung designers of the people we are today—emotionally, socially, and even professionally.
Grandparents change along with the changing family. Improved life expectancy, older age at childbearing, and changing family forms ensure that there are greater numbers of children nowadays who are able to form long-term bonds with their grandparents. Grandparents are becoming more and more integral to grandchildren’s well-being and health, but there is still much that they are not being studied in relation to. The conventional parent-child orientation fails to account for the intricate dynamics of the grandparent-parent-grandchild relationship in which wisdom, support, and even family resources are shared across generations.
The most significant gift that grandparents can give is emotional support. According to Motherhood Center, grandparents give children the feeling of security and safety, facilitating their navigation of life’s struggles and uncertainties. This emotional anchor doesn’t merely soothe children in the moment—it fosters resilience, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence that can last a lifetime. Research indicates that kids who have strong bonds with grandparents are less apt to struggle with depression and anxiety, and are more resilient in the face of adversity.
Yet the impact of grandparents extends far beyond hugs and reading before bed. They are living encyclopedias of family history, culture, and values. By sharing their own childhood tales or relating blunders and lessons learned, the grandparent is doing more than having fun—they’re instilling discernment, compassion, and the ability to tell right from wrong. Grandparents, according to Ken Canfield, Ph.D., can assist grandchildren in establishing a “reservoir of trust” and discernment capable of guiding them through an increasingly complicated world. By being a steady presence through honest, consistent communication, and by living integrity, grandparents become the rock on which children—and eventually, adults—call when they are making life’s big choices.
The influence of grandparents is not one-size-fits-all. Some become primary caregivers, while others take on a more traditional, supporting role. Studies conducted by Abigail T Stephan at Clemson University demonstrate that caregiving as well as non-caregiving grandparents can have a long-term, positive influence on grandchildren’s life satisfaction and perceived relationship quality during early adulthood. It is not the structure of the relationship but rather the content—warmth, consistency, and mutual respect—that is most significant. Even if family dynamics are complex or if grandparents and grandchildren share different perspectives on the world, the relationship can be a place of grounding, learning, and healing.
What’s particularly interesting is that this influence is two-way. Grandchildren also influence their grandparents—igniting new passions, inspiring flexibility, and at times even leading older generations to rethink old convictions. As the Swiss School of Public Health points out, the supportive relationship between grandparents and grandchildren can limit teen risk behaviors, enhance nutrition, and enhance mental health, yet it also has the power to challenge grandparents to develop and evolve in response to the needs and views of their grandchildren.
The legacy of grandparental presence does not disappear as children mature. Instead, it often intensifies during early adulthood, when young adults are forging on their own the choices related to career, relationships, and values. Stephan’s work reported that young adults often attribute to their grandparents the formation of their identity, their method of handling challenges, and their fundamental convictions regarding family and community. Whether the relationship was close or distant, positive or complicated, the lessons learned from grandparents echo through the decisions and priorities of adulthood.
Of course, context is everything. Grandparents’ impact may take many different forms based on cultural values, socioeconomic levels, and household structure. Grandparents may be the pillars of stability in some families during periods of hardship. In others, they are the guardians of heritage and link to a larger society. As families become more diverse and multigenerational, recognizing and nurturing these relationships becomes increasingly crucial.
Grandparents also play a practical role in shaping resilience, social skills, and academic success. According to Motherhood Center, children with close grandparent relationships tend to have better emotional regulation, improved academic performance, and stronger social skills. Grandparents model how to handle disappointment, resolve conflicts, and show compassion—skills that are essential for thriving in a complex world.
Ultimately, it’s not only our parents who write the story of who we become, but our grandparents, too, who work quietly, steadily, and often heroically to form our character, our decisions, and our identity. Their impact is entwined in the tapestry of our lives, usually in ways we only realize as we age—and maybe even become grandparents ourselves.