In its most basic form, personality is a consistent pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that makes each of us unique. It’s influenced by genes, experiences, and the environment we grow up in. Some of our personality traits, like being playful, shy, or outgoing, are easy to see. Others—like how we respond to stress or view events—are less obvious but no less important.
Psychologists have been trying to identify what makes for a healthy personality for a long time. The most widely employed model is the Big Five model of personality: extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism. Each trait exists on a continuum. Extraversion describes how social and energetic you are. Agreeableness describes how cooperative and empathetic you are. Openness describes curiosity and a desire to do something new. Conscientiousness describes organization and self-discipline. Neuroticism is how easily you are upset or anxious.
Most personality traits describe why some people are more social in social situations and some need alone time, and why some are stress-coping and others are not.
When personality traits are pushed to extremes, become extreme or fixed, they develop into personality disorders. Personality disorders are long-standing patterns of perceiving the world, thinking, feeling, and behaving that vary significantly from cultural norms, resulting in distress and impairment in life. Personality disorders are more than passing personality traits—they can interfere with being able to handle stress, get along with others, and perform adequately in school or work.
Personality disorders may emerge during adolescence or early adulthood and may not be treated. Both heredity and environment are contributing factors. Unstable or unsupportive family life at home, or a history of trauma, can raise the risk. Inherited temperament, such as impulsiveness or excitement seeking, can do so as well.
Ten personality disorders are known, and each has a characteristic pattern. Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by aggressive or impulsive behavior and disregard for others. Avoidant personality disorder is focused on excessive shyness and rejection sensitivity. Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pattern of intense emotions, unstable relationships, and fear of abandonment. Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by grandiosity and low empathy. Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is characterized by perfectionism, rigidity, and excessive concern for control and order.
Personality also plays a significant role in happiness. A study conducted by René Mõttus discovered that individuals who are less neurotic, more extraverted, and more conscientious report greater life satisfaction. Surprisingly, agreeableness and openness were not as strongly connected to happiness. Outside of the Big Five, feeling understood, being interested in life, and having self-assured decision-making abilities are good predictors of well-being. On the other hand, feeling misunderstood is typically an indicator of low life satisfaction.
While personality traits are generally stable, change is attainable. With effort and practice, some facets of personality can change. Gratitude, self-compassion, and mindfulness are all practices that can enhance well-being, albeit if ingrained traits persist. As René Mõttus suggests, there’s reason to think that enduring effort can bring about desired outcomes.
Relationships can be especially tough when personality disorders are involved. People can have trouble being intimate in a meaningful way, often feeling lonely or misunderstood. Therapy—like dialectical behavior therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, or group therapy—can assist individuals in gaining understanding, regulating symptoms, and forming healthier relationships. Family members may benefit from counseling and support to help navigate these relationships as well.
Personality molds our lives in deep and meaningful ways. It affects the way we comprehend ourselves, connect with other people, and derive meaning and fulfillment. Whether you’re struggling with a personality disorder or just trying to learn about your own, learning about personality is an important move toward improved health, more resilient relationships, and increased happiness.