Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences a person can face in a relationship. In today’s world, where technology and dating apps make connection easier—and temptation more accessible—understanding why people cheat is more important than ever. Let’s break down the 8 most common reasons for cheating in modern relationships, starting with the broader social forces and moving toward the deeply personal.
8. Urge to Experiment With Repressed Identities
At other times, cheating has less to do with the partner and more to do with the self. There are aspects of who they are that they feel they cannot be in the relationship—such as wanting to be more adventurous, risky, or “bad.” Affairs can serve as an outlet to develop these secret sides, according to Lia Huynh, citing Esther Perel’s work.
7. Biological Factors, Power, and Thrill-Seeking
Other individuals are predisposed to taking risks and trying new things. Top performers, the powerful, or those with high levels of testosterone, tend to be more likely to cheat because they crave conquest for its own sake. With rising power and status, access to partners expands, making it easier and more alluring to cheat, according to Lia Huynh.
6. Narcissism and Personality Disorders
Narcissists and individuals with personality disorders tend to lack empathy and use others for their own benefit. Cheating for them is more a matter of self-interest than the relationship itself. They are not likely to feel guilt, and as long as cheating does not jeopardize their own requirements, they don’t understand why they should desist. As Lia Huynh explains, narcissism exists on a continuum, but those at the extreme are not likely to improve.
5. The Thrill of the Chase
Some find the thrill of pursuit and being pursued too enticing to resist. When the initial spark wears off in a long-term relationship, they want the adrenaline rush of new desire. Cheating is a means to regain it and demonstrate how desirable they are, particularly if their sense of self-worth is rooted in external affirmations, as explained by Lia Huynh.
4. Absence of Healthy Boundaries
When boundaries are undefined or absent, it’s simple for innocent interactions to become too much. This might look like late-night texts with a co-worker, secret talks with someone your partner doesn’t know, or erasing messages to cover your tracks. As Oaks Counseling Associates explains, establishing and maintaining boundaries is awkward but necessary for healthy relationships.
3. Hurt or Trauma from Past Relationships
Past infidelity can create lasting wounds. A person cheated on or hurt in a prior relationship might cheat again as a means of avoiding vulnerability. They maintain emotional distance by having backup partners and are afraid to give their entire heart because they know it will only cause hurt, according to Lia Huynh.
2. Modeling from Parents
Kids learn from example. If the parent was unfaithful, particularly a parent of the same gender, the message is heard that it’s okay or normal to cheat. These formative lessons have the potential to influence adult behavior, often involuntarily, according to Lia Huynh.
1. Relationship Struggles and Communication Breakdown
Within the center of most affairs lies an ailing relationship. Disconnection, unresolved conflict, and unfulfilled needs push an individual to seek closeness somewhere else. In most cases, the cheating individual cannot express feelings or doesn’t feel heard. Cheating is then an inappropriate means of dealing with anger, isolation, or despair. As Lia Huynh points out, cheating is a self-sabotaging cycle that does nothing but escalate.
Knowing these reasons doesn’t justify infidelity, but it does explain the intricate dance of circumstances that can lead to betrayal. It could be about establishing healthy boundaries, going to therapy, or practicing communication. The healing journey begins with self-knowledge and open discussion. Technology and dating apps have altered the terrain, but the fundamental trust, respect, and connection needs haven’t changed.