Let’s get real—relationships are already complicated enough without lugging around outdated notions of how they “ought” to be. Whether with a romantic partner, family, or friends, these myths can creep up on you and chip away at your self-confidence, your joy, and even the way you relate to other people. These are nine of the most toxic relationship myths still circulating today—and why it’s time to ditch them.
9. Monogamy Is the Only “Right” Way
Individuals tend to use monogamy as the default, but that’s simply not the case. Requiring everyone to adhere to the same relationship model can cause individuals to feel judged or ashamed for desiring otherwise. Relationships are varied—polyamorous, open, or ethically non-monogamous arrangements can be equally as fulfilling as conventional ones, provided all parties speak honestly and agree to the arrangement. Happiness is not one-size-fits-all.
8. You Need to Sleep in the Same Bed Every Night
It’s so ingrained in us that couples need to sleep in the same bed every night, but it’s not going to work for everyone. Some individuals prefer sleeping alone, and some do well in relationships where it’s acceptable to have a separate sleeping situation. Not sleeping together is not a sign of a weaker connection—it’s about respect and comfort, not closeness.
7. Women Ought to Forgive Infidelity, Men Shouldn’t
Films and media tend to depict women as the understanding spouse and men as the walk-away type—but this double standard is unrealistic and damaging. How one handles infidelity is individual. No one should be expected to remain or depart depending on gender. Restoring trust is situation- and personality-dependent, not on old-fashioned expectations.
6. Everything Must Be 50/50
The “perfectly equal” relationship sounds great in theory, but life isn’t a spreadsheet. Oftentimes, one person does more emotionally, financially, or in household tasks, and that’s fine. Relationships have their ebbs and flows, and to insist on a hard 50/50 can put too much tension in the relationship. Flexibility and understanding are much more important than precise balance.
5. Men Want Sex More Than Women
This stereotype is simplistic about human desire and induces unwarranted shame. Men might not always be the approachers, and women might be more driven—each person’s sexual needs are individual. Assuming otherwise can create misunderstandings, guilt, or humiliation. Desire is subjective, and it doesn’t play by gender rules.
4. Women Should Be the Caretakers
The idea that women must bear the lion’s share of domestic and emotional work is draining and outmoded. When most of the duties fall on one person, the result is burnout and resentment. Sharing responsibilities, showing respect for boundaries, and being open about communication are the keys to a healthy, joyful relationship.
3. Controlling Behavior Is a Sign of Love
Jealousy, manipulation, and control are often romanticized as “passion,” but they instead undermine self-esteem and trust. True love empowers, not controls. Respect, autonomy, and support are what characterize healthy relationships—neither fear nor manipulation.
2. On-and-Off Relationships Are Exciting
Pop culture glamorizes the drama of break-up-and-make-up, but they’re typically exhausting, not exhilarating. Endless emotional ups and downs can result in unhappiness and burnout. Real passion develops through stability, communication, and mutual growth, not ongoing mayhem.
1. Heterosexual Relationships Are the “Normal” Ones
Treating straight relationships as the norm erases LGBTQIA+ experiences and places pressure on queer couples to conform to strict gender roles. Every relationship is valid regardless of the genders or orientations involved. Respect and understanding should always be paramount.
These myths not only color how we perceive relationships—they influence how we experience them. Beyond stereotypes is trusting yourself, establishing limits, and constructing relations that actually suit your life. Ditch the outdated rules—your relationship must function for you, not for society.