The internet touches nearly everything about our lives—it connects us, it entertains us, and it informs us. And yet, as much as it does bring people closer to one another, so too may it expose us to threats we never even imagined. Perhaps most menacing is cyberstalking, a threat that lies unseen in the dark corners of our online world. If you ever felt uneasy about how much of your personal life is online—or wondered what someone might find about you in a matter of clicks—you’re not alone.
What is Cyberstalking?
Cyberstalking isn’t just someone surfing through your vacation photos or looking at who favorited your post. It’s repeated, unwanted attention or surveillance that makes you nervous, insecure, or even scared. And although we tend to imagine strangers hiding online, most instances of cyberstalking are from someone the victim is already familiar with—sometimes even an ex-partner.
The psychological and emotional cost can be substantial. The victims often experience anxiety, insomnia, and an inability to concentrate on the job or in school. In some instances, the case can go on for years, employing every app, piece of equipment, and platform there is to harass or stalk the targeted individual. For what purpose? To frighten, dominate, or simply never allow them a moment’s peace.
Red Flags That Something’s Not Right
Cyberstalking is not always easy to detect at first. But some warning signs should never be overlooked:
- Someone appears to know things about you that you did not reveal to them—your whereabouts, where you are employed, or intimate information about your family or friends.
- You’re being coerced into giving out your location or catching hints that you have someone following you without asking permission. Occasionally, even devices such as AirTags or app features such as Snap Map are exploited for this purpose.
- You’re getting the feeling that your online actions are being watched or dictated. If someone is insisting on access to your accounts, checking on you every five minutes, or dictating what you can and can’t share, that’s not okay—it’s controlling.
- You are threatened that someone will post private messages, nude photos, or other confidential information to embarrass or hurt you.
When Curiosity Turns Harmful
Let’s be honest—we’ve all done a little digital snooping. A peek at an ex’s profile, clicking through tagged photos, or scanning a new date’s social feed. It’s common and usually harmless. But when curiosity turns into obsession or is used to intimidate or manipulate, it crosses a dangerous line.
Social networking sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, and LinkedIn have more than you can ever imagine. Tagged photos, shared friends, and location information can create a remarkably detailed image of an individual’s life. The more we make “harmless stalking” a common practice, the more exposed we are to people who have ill intentions.
The Rise of Sextortion and How It Ties In
This is a chilling type of cyberstalking that’s getting increasingly prevalent: sextortion. It’s just what it is—a threat to publish your personal or explicit material if you comply with their requests. These usually begin with someone assuming a peer or lover persona. After building trust, they request a picture or video. From there, it escalates into threats, blackmail, and psychological manipulation.
Teenagers and young adults are particularly vulnerable. And whereas once it was all about obtaining more photos, most sextortionists these days insist on money. The effects can be ruinous. Victims can feel very lonely, embarrassed, and not know whom to turn to. In a few tragic instances, the mental anguish has resulted in self-injury or even suicide.
How to Stay Safe and Protect Your Privacy
You don’t have to vanish from the web to keep yourself safe—but you do have to be clever. Here are some easy ways to keep it safe:
- Have a look at your privacy settings every now and then. Check that you’re not giving away more than you intended.
- Only let people you know and trust send you friend requests or follow you.
- Don’t share your whereabouts in real time if not essential. Think before you share and with whom.
- Use robust passwords, enable two-step verification, and update your devices.
- Trust your instincts if someone’s actions don’t feel right. Block or report them without hesitation.
- Document any unwanted messages—screenshots, messages, timestamps. It could be vitally important if you need help at a later time.
- Don’t give your passwords to anyone or allow anyone to dictate what you can or can’t do on the internet. Your online space is yours.
Talk About It, It Can Make All the Difference
The strongest thing you can possibly do when confronted with cyberstalking is speak out. So many individuals remain silent because they are afraid, ashamed, or don’t want to make a fuss about it. Yet candid dialogue—particularly between parents and adolescents, peers, or intimate partners—can be a lifesaver. If the person you know is experiencing this, make them aware that they are not alone and that you are there for them.
And if you are a victim of cyberstalking yourself, help is available. Groups such as the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and local advocacy organizations can walk you through what to do next and help. Being aware and questioning, and aware of the warning signs, is the beginning of safeguarding yourself and others in a world where our lives are more and more online.