Flirty texting might seem like a breeze, but one wrong emoji or poorly timed message, and suddenly, you’re that person. The truth? Flirting over text is an art. It can make someone smile out of the blue or spark a deeper connection. But only if it’s done right.
So, how do you make it playful yet respectful and smooth rather than cringey or clingy? Here are the 10 rules to abide by when sending flirt texts, counting down to the one thing that is more important than everything else.
10. Don’t Go Explicit Unless You’re Both Clearly On That Page
Let’s start with the obvious: sending explicit content too soon (or ever, without clear permission) is a major red flag. Just because the conversation is flirty doesn’t mean it’s open season for texting. If you’re not 100% sure the other person is into it, don’t go there. Keep it cheeky, not sleazy.
9. Texting Too Much Can Kill the Vibe
Flirty texting isn’t a rapid-fire game. Bombarding someone’s inbox—particularly if they’re not answering in real time—can register as needy or aggressive. Slow down. Let them have room to play. A little mystery is a long time, and a conversation is a lot more fun when both are leaning in.
8. Save the Deep Stuff for Later
Dropping confessions or super personal stories before you’ve built rapport can feel like emotional whiplash. Flirting is about curiosity and light tension, not sharing your heartbreak playlist on day one. Let the chemistry unfold naturally. Don’t rush the intimacy.
7. Match Their Texting Energy
If they’re being casual and playful, you need to be also. If they get emotional, you can tap in slightly more. Observe the energy they’re emanating, and match it. For instance, if they send something like, “Just walked in the door and finally unwinding,” you can mirror that sort of vibe to keep things going without overdoing it.
6. Lead With Personality-Based Compliments
“You’re funny.” “I admire the passion you have for what you do.” Compliments like these are so much more effective than “You’re hot” or “Great legs.” Especially in the beginning, it’s far better to comment on who they are, not how they appear. Deeper compliments shine—and they seem so much more thoughtful.
5. Tease, Don’t Pressure
Flirty texts work best when they feel light, not loaded. Sending a photo and saying, “This made me think of you,” or teasing them with a “Guess what I’m thinking…” keeps the exchange playful. Avoid language that sounds like a demand or expectation—it kills the fun instantly.
4. Let Go of the Need for Constant Validation
Not every message needs an instant reply. If they take a while to respond or keep it short, don’t spiral or double-text. Stay cool. Confidence is attractive. Clinginess? Not so much. Let the conversation breathe and trust that if they’re interested, they’ll make it known.
3. Know What’s Appropriate—and When
Context is everything. Flirting by sending flirty messages to a person you don’t know, a colleague at work, or a person in a professional setting is volatile ground. Know your audience. Flirting is about mutual energy, not assumptions gone wrong. Be socially aware and respect boundaries.
2. Ease Into Anything Risqué
Pondering heating up? Begin with delicate, teasing messages that gauge the other individual’s mood to begin with. Even within a relationship, you want to ensure you are texting with permission. Learn from their tone, go slow, and always err on the side of caution to protect their comfort level. Respect is a hell of a lot sexier than aggression.
1. If It’s Not Mutual, Let It Go
Here’s the golden rule that all else hinges on: flirt only when the interest is unmistakably returned. If they are responding in one-word answers, evading questions, or simply not expressing enthusiasm, don’t push. Good flirting is like dancing—if they’re not dancing with you, don’t pursue them around the room. Respect their cues, and move on with your dignity (and your charm) intact.
The greatest flirty texts are those that make both parties smile. It’s not about being witty; it’s about displaying real interest and having fun with the conversation, being respectful, and making it engaging. So keep it playful, observe shared energy, and remember: consent, context, and confidence are key.