Let’s be real—first dates are emotional rollercoasters. Even if you’ve been with someone for years or you’re just wading back into the pool, those fluttery feelings and cringeworthy pauses can still get the better of you. But the good news is this: those nerves are completely normal—and with the right attitude and some clever tactics, you can turn that anxious energy into confidence and connection. Here are 10 tips to calm anxiety and be your best, most authentic self.
10. Understand That Nerves Are Part of the Package
Getting nervous prior to a first date isn’t a sign that something is amiss—it’s a sign you care. Some nervousness is your mind’s way of getting you ready for the unknown. Rather than fighting it, breathe and tell yourself: This is just excitement camouflaged as nerves.
9. Practice a Little
You don’t have to have a script, but it does help to practice speaking about yourself. Practice walking through potential conversations with a friend, or even aloud, standing in front of a mirror. It’s not learning lines—it’s learning to be comfortable being social again.
8. Choose a Comfortable Place
Your environment is more important than you realize. Pick somewhere you’ll be relaxed—perhaps somewhere you know or a location that doesn’t feel too much like a formal sit-down. Ponder coffee shops, easy strolls, or group activities where conversation comes naturally.
7. Get Your Body Moving First
A little movement can do wonders for your mood. Whether it’s a quick workout, a jog around the block, or even dancing to your favorite playlist, getting your blood flowing can boost your confidence and clear your head before the date.
6. Plan a Few Topics Ahead of Time
If the possibility of awkward silence makes you nervous, have some go-to topics planned. Write down enjoyable questions or things you’d like to know. It’s acceptable to acknowledge you were prepared—it reflects that you’re thoughtful, not clumsy.
5. Be Present—Seriously, Put Your Phone Away
We’ve all been guilty of the brief mid-conversation look at our phone. Try turning on airplane mode before your date so you won’t be tempted. Paying your date full attention not only reduces nerves but also creates a stronger connection from the very beginning.
4. Quiet the Inner Critic
The voice in your head might start whispering doubts: “What if I’m not interesting?” or “They’re too good for me.” That’s just fear talking. Counter those thoughts with affirmations like, “I bring value just by being myself.” A little mindset shift goes a long way.
3. Flirt With Fun—Not Pressure
Flirting isn’t always smooth or silky. It’s about having fun and playing with the person in a light, respectful manner. Keep it lighthearted, playful, and stay attuned to your date’s comfort level—body language says just as much as words.
2. Listen Like You Mean It
Most compelling characteristic? Being a good listener. Show genuine interest by asking open-ended questions, and see through what they tell you. Whether it’s about childhood moments or favorite pastimes, your attentiveness establishes a real connection.
1. Adopt Being Real Over Being Perfect
The best version of you is… you. Don’t try to impress your date with your best self. A little fumbling over words or stuttering laugh is endearing. Keep in mind, chances are, your date is nervous too.
First dates will always be accompanied by butterflies, but that does not mean that you cannot enjoy them. With some preparation, loads of self-compassion, and the bravery to be yourself, you can transform that nervous energy into something truly exciting—and perhaps even the beginning of something amazing.