Toxic relationships do not always manifest. Oftentimes, the worst habits are subtle, slowly seeping into your life until you are drained, anxious, or confused about yourself. If you’ve ever left a conversation feeling drained or wondering if you were crazy for what happened, it might be more than a bad patch—it might be the signs of a toxic relationship.
Here are eight of the worst behaviours toxic people tend to use to control, manipulate, or wear down the people around them. Being able to see these patterns is the best protection of your emotional and mental well-being.
8. Making You Question Your Reality (Gaslighting)
Gaslighting is a covert, psychological strategy intended to make you question your own perceptions. A person may outright deny things that occurred, tell you you’re remembering situations wrongly, or distort facts so that you doubt what is real. With time, this can make you feel uncertain, confused, and even disconnected from your own intuition. When a person continually makes you question yourself, it’s frustrating beyond reason—it’s manipulation.
7. Mood Swings
Toxic individuals usually have others walking on eggshells, alternating between warm and cold at a moment’s notice. They’re charming one moment, aloof or furious the next. Being constantly in this state of adjustment, seeking to sidestep argument or win approval, can wear you down and leave you tense awaiting the next mood shift.
6. Excessive Criticism and Condescension
When someone repeatedly puts you down or criticizes you, they erode your confidence. Whether it’s your decisions, looks, or skills, this behavior will make you feel small or inadequate. Frequently masquerading as “constructive criticism,” repetitive put-downs slowly erode your self-esteem and self-worth.
5. Ignoring Your Boundaries
Healthy relationships recognize and respect personal boundaries, but toxic individuals have a tendency to push them or disregard them altogether. They might take too much of your time, intrude into your personal space, or coerce you into intimate situations with which you feel uncomfortable. When your boundaries are not being respected, it’s not only frustrating—it’s an infringement on your autonomy and an indication of emotional manipulation.
4. Playing the Victim
Manipulators are experts at reversing every scenario so that they appear to be the victim. They can ask for sympathy, deflect blame, or make you feel guilty for asserting yourself. By doing this, the attention is diverted from their actions, and you become uncertain and doubt whether you should feel what you are feeling.
3. Using Your Secrets Against You
Sharing personal details is trusting, but toxic people use it against you. They’ll mention your weaknesses when they’re fighting, guilt you with personal issues, or even threaten to reveal your secrets. This breach of trust hurts now, but it can make it difficult to trust anyone ever again.
2. Guilt-Tripping
If you always feel guilty about making someone else happy or solving their issue, it’s a typical manipulation technique. Manipulators are aware of how to get you to feel guilty about taking care of yourself, recalling the sacrifices they’ve made or portraying you as selfish. Gradually, this emotional blackmail entangles you in the vicious cycle of satisfying them at your own expense.
1. Controlling the Conversation (Steering the Narrative)
Lastly, toxic people tend to control the conversation, directing it to their advantage or agenda. They can brush aside your concerns, talk about only their successes, or center the conversation on their issues. When this is a standard practice, it makes you feel overlooked, overlooked, and invisible in your own relationship.
Long-term exposure to these patterns exacts a serious price. Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even physical symptoms such as fatigue or insomnia are frequent consequences of long-term toxicity. Identifying these patterns is the first step on the road back to restoring your energy, your confidence, and your well-being.