Let’s be real—keeping love and touch alive when you’ve been together a long time is hard. Work, family, and daily life can push closeness aside. But bringing back that spark doesn’t need to be hard. Small, steady acts can mean more than big, showy ones. Here are eight simple, backed by study ways to make you close again, ending with the best tip.
8. See the Small Wins
Big change isn’t always clear. It might be just being there for one another, trying new things, or having eep talks. Make it a habit to see and cheer these small wins. A last-minute date or a simple “thanks” can tighten your bond. As the experts at the Gottman Institute say, good feedback keeps couples wanting to do well.
7. Build a Safe Space—Emotionally and Physically
For love to grow, both must feel safe to share and be open. This means keep promises, sort out fights nicely, and show that you care about their feelings. If trust is weak, fix it with truth and steady, kind acts. The Gottman Institute says feeling safe links to a better love life, so it’s worth the effort.
6. Bring Fun to Your Bond
Falling into boring habits can kill the spark. Try new things together, like dance, camping, or cooking a new dish, to bring back that spark. New stuff makes your brain release dopamine, boosting attraction and closeness. The key? Keep it fun and check that you both are happy.
5. Be Open About What You Like (and Don’t)
Talking openly about sex and feelings might be odd at first, but it’s key for long-term closeness. Studies show that couples who talk freely about their needs and boundaries feel much happier together.
These chats don’t need to be big—think of them as casual, caring check-ins. The aim is to get to know each other, not to judge.
4. Set Time Just for You Two
With busy lives, time alone can seem rare. But finding even a little time just for each other—like a walk, a meal, or an evening without phones—can help you feel close again. Studies show that couples who make time for these moments tend to be happier together both in heart and body. Turn off distractions and focus on each other.
3. Know (or Rediscover) Each Other’s Inner Worlds
Knowing small details about your partner’s life—their dreams, fears, and what drives them—is vital for a deep bond. The Gottmans call this your “Love Map.” The more you know, the better you can care, support, and stay close. Keep asking, stay curious, and check in often. People change—your view of them should too.
2. Keep Love Showing
Small touches of care go far. A hug when you meet, holding hands while walking, or a simple touch while talking—these small acts send a big message of love. Touch makes oxytocin, easing stress and making the emotional bond deeper. Be there in these moments, and make them part of your day.
1. Start with Emotional Closeness
The best intimate relationships start with a strong emotional bond. This closeness is often the basis for a good physical relationship. Set aside time daily for true talks—not just about tasks, but hopes, fears, and feelings. Listen well, respond with heart, and be there always. When emotional closeness is strong, physical closeness often comes naturally.
No perfect way exists to build closeness—but there are tested ways to make your bond stronger. Whether you’ve been a pair for ages or just starting to get serious, these tips can help you find joy, love, and closeness with the one you love. It’s all about the little choices you make each day to truly see, hear, and value each other.