Ever ask yourself what actually distinguishes a healthy relationship from the rest? Although each couple is distinct, studies and professional recommendations indicate that the healthiest relationships have a remarkable number of characteristics—some are quite obvious, others not so much. If you’re curious about whether your relationship is on the right track, or just want to know what to look for in a future partner, here are the 12 most important signs of a healthy relationship, counting down from number 12 to the single most crucial trait.
12. You’re Comfortable Being Imperfect Together
Let’s face it: nobody’s “on” all the time. In the healthiest relationships, both partners feel free to let their guard down, show their quirks, and even go full “goblin mode” without fear of judgment. As psychotherapist Natacha Duke explains, being able to be vulnerable and share insecurities is a sign that your relationship has the makings of something special. This comfort with imperfection deepens intimacy and trust.
11. You Preserve Independence and Individuality
A healthy relationship is codependent, not interdependent. Both of you support one another but also have your own interests, friendships, and ambitions. Natacha Duke says, “Knowing who you are as an individual and pursuing your own personal goals and dreams are equally crucial because this enables you to adopt a self-love outlook that will only continue to strengthen your relationship.” You don’t get lost in the union—you develop with it.
10. You Don’t Avoid Difficult Conversations
It’s so easy to tiptoe around issues, but healthy couples confront challenges head-on. Talking openly—no matter how uncomfortable the subject—avoids resentment from simmering. As therapist Lindsey Antin notes, flexibility and being willing to work through both easy and difficult issues are characteristics of enduring love.
9. You Make Decisions as a Team
Whether dinner is being decided or major life decisions are being made, healthy couples work together. You appreciate each other’s suggestions and strive for mutually acceptable solutions. This cooperative approach, as explained by Psychology Today, translates into “us vs. the problem,” rather than “me vs. you.”
8. You Support Each Other’s Goals
Healthy relationships are a catalyst for individual development. You support one another, even if your aspirations aren’t the same. You support each other through dual support: sharing what you enjoy, and supporting your partner’s interests—albeit not yours. Being adaptable and supportive allows both partners to flourish.
7. You’re Kind—Even When You Disagree
Kindness is not about grand gestures; it’s in the tiny things, such as listening, saying sorry, and empathizing. As Natacha Duke describes, “Kindness looks like feeling as though you’re safe, supported, and a priority to the other person.” Even when arguing, healthy couples don’t use insults, contempt, or defensiveness. It’s not about “winning” the argument, but about understanding and loving each other.
6. You Forgive Each Other
No one is perfect. The strength to forgive and move on is a great indicator of love. Dwelling on holding a grudge or keeping score only creates resentment. If you can release hurts of the past and truly forgive, you’re laying a building block for enduring happiness.
5. You Can “Agree to Disagree”
Arguments will happen, but healthy couples don’t allow them to be deal-breakers. They compromise and make both parties feel understood instead. This conflict resolution without lingering anger is a leading indicator of relationship success.
4. You Trust Each Other—And That Trust Is Earned
Trust is more than fidelity. It’s a sense of safety, respect, and knowing that you have your partner’s best interests in mind. Trust takes time to establish, with reliability and honesty. According to Robert Waldinger, how contented we are within our relationships has a significant bearing upon our health, and at the heart of that contentment is trust.
3. You Communicate Openly and Honestly
Healthful relationships are based on communication. You’re at ease expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs—and you hear when your partner does the same. Active listening, validation, and open expression avoid misunderstandings and foster closeness. As Lindsey Antin explains, partners in a healthy relationship feel at ease with confronting both tough and easy conversations, always working to comprehend one another.
2. You Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
Respect is the foundation of any good relationship. That is respecting each other’s boundaries—emotional, physical, and personal. You don’t attempt to control or alter your partner, and you feel secure communicating your needs. As Natacha Duke describes, “In a healthy relationship, you’re making space for each other, you’re making space for each other’s emotions, and making space to nurture and cultivate other aspects of each other’s lives.”
1. You Feel Safe, Supported, and Valued
At the core of every healthy relationship is safety and support. You sense that your partner loves you, respects you, and is invested in your happiness. Such emotional security is linked closely to attachment theory: securely attached individuals have more psychological well-being and healthier relationships, as shown by Elisabetta Sagone and co-authors. When you feel thoroughly supported and loved, love is peaceful, empowering, and—yes—thrilling.
Healthy relationships are not perfect or problem-free. They’re about creating a partnership where both individuals can grow, feel secure, and work out life’s struggles together. If you see these signs in your relationship, you’re off to an amazing start.