Kissing is one of the little pleasures that can leave you both giddy, close, and feeling a little bit healthier. And who knows, believe it or not, science reveals that a good make-out session can decrease stress levels, so it’s not just a romantic gesture—it’s healthy for you too. That being said, not every kiss is magic. If you’ve ever had an awkward, underwhelming smooch, chances are you know how much little things can count.
A little forethought can go a long way. If you suspect a kiss is on the horizon, perhaps forego the garlic or onions at dinner time. Keep your lips in good condition with the occasional lip scrub and dab of balm, particularly in dry or cold climates.
Fresh breath is essential, so pop a mint or brush your teeth if the opportunity arises. And don’t forget the setting—a quiet spot trumps a noisy room any time for setting the right mood.
Consent is the best aspect of any good kiss. Though films may make the surprise kiss seem romantic, life is more effective when you ask first. And truthfully, asking can be very sexy. Whether you use a plain, “May I kiss you? or something more flirtatious like, “Wanna make out?”, the goal is to receive a clear, affirmative answer.
If they aren’t interested, so be it—respect their response and leave it alone. Even in established relationships, one should check in from time to time, especially in new or public contexts. When it comes to actually kissing, keep it simple.
Move in slowly, make eye contact, and let your lips stay soft and relaxed. There’s no need to overthink it or go too hard—just pay attention to your partner’s pace and follow their lead. Rest your hands on their shoulders, back, or hips—or run your fingers through their hair if it feels natural.
If there’s a big height difference, adjust your angle so you’re both comfortable. Ready to heat things a notch? Open-mouth kissing can bring some flame, but it does. A little bit of tongue goes a long way—begin slow and increase from there. Notice what your partner is doing. If they move closer or are more at ease, that’s a positive indicator. And don’t neglect to breathe—take a break and get some air every so often, perhaps with a grin or a cursory glance that keeps the vibe alive.
Kissing doesn’t necessarily need to remain only on the lips. Attempt drawing a couple of kisses along the jaw or the neck, or even a soft nip if your partner is into it. Use your hands to experiment a bit—softly touch their face, caress their back, or encircle them in your arms. And as with anything, enjoy the conversation. You can convey what works in the moment with a glance or a touch, or discuss it later. If something didn’t feel right, it’s alright to speak up.
Honesty makes you both more at ease and connected. And don’t forget, not every kiss needs to go further. Sometimes it’s just a lovely way of expressing affection. If one of you isn’t feeling it, that’s completely okay.
There are plenty of other ways of feeling close—holding hands, nuzzling your head in their shoulder, or complimenting them can mean as much as a kiss.
The best kisses are ones where you both feel good, respectful, and in rhythm. There’s no single right way to do it—just a whole lot of ways to make it special for you and your partner. Communicate, pay attention, and enjoy the moment together.