Let’s be honest: communication and trust are the pillars of any relationship, two individuals or two countries. Without it, even the tiniest faux pas can snowball into a complete crisis. Recent Israel-Iran tension with America inthe middle was an ominous reminder of the tenuous nature of relationships when suspicion takes over instead of understanding.
The Israel-Iran-U.S. Triangle: A Relationship on Edge
Imagine a scenario in which both partners are sure that the other is keeping something from them, and then a third party comes in to broker a peace but sees what they want to see. That is more or less what is going on between Israel, Iran, and America. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has long been firmly sure that Iran is secretly developing a nuclear weapon. He’s even initiated strikes based on intelligence he characterized as “absolutely clear,” a Fox News interview reported.
Meanwhile, U.S. intelligence—then represented by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard—has long maintained that Iran stopped its nuclear weapons program in 2003 and never resumed it. Gabbard said that “Iran is not developing a nuclear weapon and Supreme Leader Khamenei has not re-authorized the nuclear weapons program that he put on hold in 2003.
But then things got confusing. President Donald Trump publicly disagreed with his intelligence community, saying that he thought Iran was “very close to having it.” That’s like having a couple’s therapist who disagrees with both individuals. The result? Confusion, mistrust, and no actual resolution.
Different Realities, Different Reactions
In any relationship, individuals come with their assumptions, experiences, and fears. Israel perceives Iranian actions as existential threats. The U.S. adopts a calmer approach based on long-term intelligence evaluations. And Iran maintains that its nuclear activities are purely for peaceful energy use, although its move to enrich uranium to60% purity (short of weapons-grade) is concerning worldwide.
When both sides perceive reality so differently, even peaceful action is likely to be misunderstood as threatening. That’s precisely what’s currently occurring, with Israel and Iran exchanging blows and charges, while the U.S. attempts to walk the middle line.
The Fallout of Broken Trust
Once trust is broken, even benign actions are seen with suspicion. A recent missile attack on Soroka Medical Center in Israel—injuring dozens—points out just how perilous this suspicion can become. Iran said that it was targeting a military installation, not a hospital. But the harm—both physical and psychological—was done.
Israel’s defense minister responded by making it clear that their military has been ordered to make sure Iran’s Supreme Leader “does not continue to exist.” That is some serious verbal warfare. And when diplomacy plays second fiddle, peaceful solutions become vanishing acts.
The price is paid. Hospitals in Israel had to move patients underground. Civilians on both sides were caught in the middle. And each time mistrust compels action, the cost in human lives increases.
What This Teaches Us About Our Relationships
So what does it all boil down to in our daily lives? One thing is that suspicion is hazardous—if you’re constantly anticipating the worst, you may begin to notice it even when it isn’t present. Another is that refusing to listen to the other side only worsens the situation, not improves it. If the U.S. and Israel can’t even get the fundamentals straight, their partnership disintegrates—and so does their power to mold a more positive result.
The Power of Communication and Empathy
There is only one genuine method of escaping a spiral of distrust: honest, open communication. That requires listening—listening—even when it’s painful. With Iran and Israel, the absence of diplomatic avenues and transparency has made it extremely hard to rebuild confidence. As the Carnegie Endowment puts it, “Iran will nearly certainly deny inspectors access to the country and will likely pull out of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty.” Where openness goes out the window, fear and suspicion take its place.
In our lives, too, the lesson is just as simple: guard trust, remain willing to talk it through, and don’t let fear rule. Otherwise, the relationships most important to us can wither in ways that prove difficult to heal.