Breakups are like emotional earthquakes—they shake everything that you believed was firm. Whether it was weeks or years, the breakup tends to leave you lost, overwhelmed, or emotionally numb. The good news is that healing is not only possible but natural. And though it can be a while before you heal, there are real, research-proven strategies to help you get where you want to go. If you’re dealing with the aftermath of a breakup—or just need to be reminded that you’re not the only one—here are 10 of the best methods to start healing, beginning with number 10.
10. Try New Hobbies and Activities
Breakups tend to leave you with some unplanned free time in your calendar. Instead of using that time for daydreaming, use it as a way to experiment with something new. Whether a fitness class, creative endeavor, or outdoor activity, participating in new experiences can help restore your sense of purpose and happiness. Licensed clinical social worker Brianna Brunner points out that having friends or family join you in these activities can mitigate feelings of loneliness and enhance connection. Creative endeavors such as painting, music, or writing may also assist in reflecting emotions and rediscovering yourself outside the relationship.
9. Reflect on What You’ve Learned
Once you’re prepared, take the time to reflect carefully. This isn’t about revisiting each moment or blaming yourself—it’s about learning about your growth. Ask yourself: Who was I before this relationship, and how have I changed? Reflecting on communication patterns, emotional needs, and boundaries, says the University of Colorado Boulder, can assist you in making healthier decisions in the future. Know what worked, what didn’t, and what you value now. Insight brings clarity, and clarity brings healing.
8. Establish Boundaries—with Your Ex and Social Media
Boundaries are key to emotional healing. When it’s safe and feasible, take a break from communication with your ex. Relationship coach Shelley J. Whitehead recommends a three-month no-contact rule to assist in resetting your emotional bond and concentrating on your healing. Social media can also make matters difficult. Reading your ex’s or friends’ updates may reopen the wounds. Think about muting, unfollowing, or even taking a break from social media. It’s not petty—it’s preserving your peace.
7. Lean Into Your Support Network
Healing is not a solo act. Good friends and loved ones can provide much-needed comfort, even in small ways, such as bringing over your comfort food or being a quiet, supportive presence. Therapist Jennifer Klesman, LCSW, says support can be many things: some hear you out, others distract you, and others just sit with you during the hard times. Don’t be afraid to call, even if you don’t know what you need. And keep in mind, emotional support is an appropriate way after the first heartbreak.
6. Create Space for All Emotions
Breakups provoke a whole set of emotions—sadness, fury, relief, jealousy, confusion—and all of them are legitimate. Permit yourself to experience them, without criticism, and that is an essential step in healing. The University of Colorado Boulder cautions that rejecting painful emotions can intensify them with the passing of time. Be honest about your experience. At times, the most therapeutic words are merely, “This hurts right now”—because the identification of pain is the beginning of traveling beyond it.
5. Prioritize Self-Care and Daily Routines
When everything is out of whack, routine and self-care can center you. Begin with the fundamentals: healthy meals, sufficient sleep, exercise, and hydration. These small things convey to your body that it’s safe and cared for. Whether journaling, meditating, or taking a walk outside, identify routines that instill a feeling of calm and mastery. Consistency—even in tiny doses—restores emotional equilibrium.
4. Do Not Numb the Pain by Unhealthy Coping
It’s easy to want to avoid pain with booze, rebound relationships, or scrolling, binge-watching. But temporary solutions only stall healing and can start new problems. University of Colorado Boulder experts warn that these activities may temporarily soothe, but eventually make recovery a harder process. Instead, grab a better distraction: call a friend, read a book, take a run, or just sleep. Perfection is not the aim—it’s progress.
3. Give Yourself Time and Grace
There is no time frame for moving on. Some days you will be better. Other days, not so much. And that is okay. As discussed with a YoungMinds contributor, every break-up is unique, and so is every recovery. If you need space, take it. If you find yourself missing your ex, be kind to yourself. Recovery isn’t in a straight line, and neither does anyone else get to dictate when you’re “over it.” Respect your own pace.
2. Find Professional Help If You Need It
Breakups can be profoundly destabilizing, especially if the relationship involved emotional abuse, gaslighting, or betrayal. Therapy can provide a safe, nonjudgmental space to process the experience and rebuild your sense of self. Whether it’s individual counseling or a support group, reaching out for help is a strong, healthy step forward. If safety is a concern, know that there are confidential resources available to guide and protect you.
1. Remember Yourself: This Won’t Last Forever
When you’re in it, heartbreak can feel endless. But with time, support, and intention, the pain does ease. As one person shared, the simple reminder—“This too shall pass”—was enough to shift perspective and offer hope. Eventually, your laughter will return. Your energy will rise. You’ll feel whole again, possibly even more grounded than before. And when you’re ready, love—real, healthy love—will feel possible again.