Figuring out what keeps a relationship together is a mystery that has driven professionals and couples crazy for decades. No two couples are the same, but science and real-life experience demonstrate that there are some factors that always decide whether or not love will last. Let’s start counting down the top eight predictors of successful relationships with a mix of science, expert input, and a dash of street wisdom.
8. Acceptance of Unchangeable Characteristics and Emphasis on Development
Long-term partners learn to accept what can and cannot be altered in their partner. Rather than always trying to shape each other, they embrace intrinsic characteristics and work to promote individual development in each other. As Psychology Today states, long-term partners “acknowledge and accept what is unlikely to change and focus on what can”. Acceptance lessens frustration and encourages an open setting in which both individuals will succeed.
7. Avoiding Comparisons to Other Relationships
Initially, it is to be anticipated that there is a comparison to ideal or prior experience standards. But as devotion intensifies, comparisons disappear. Long-term couples are couples that concentrate on the worth of what they possess rather than what they lack. Psychology Today states that “comparisons and contrasts to other relationships lessen” with genuine devotion. This transformation brings liberty in devotion, unencumbered with concern about “what if.”
6. Playfulness and Common Enjoyment
There’s always space for fun—genuine love is based on laughter and shared experience. Playful couples, experiment with new things and leave space for laughter, stand a good chance of enduring the trials and tribulations of life. As Medium points out, “laughter and playfulness are key elements of a fulfilling relationship”. From a spontaneous road trip to an in-joke, joint enjoyment nurtures the relationship.
5. Encouragement of Individuality and Space
Healthy relationships are codependent but not interdependent. Both partners maintain their own identity, friends, and hobbies regardless of the relationship. As Healthline argues, “healthy relationships are best described as interdependent,” where two individuals are dependent on one another but lead individual lives. This prevents resentment and halts the relationship from becoming suffocating.
4. Commitment and Inner Motivation
Why are you a couple? Happy couples are intrinsically driven—a natural interest in being with the other person, not external pressure or incentive. In a big data study, José Abreu-Afonso and his team found that “intrinsic motivation reveals the highest standardized structural weight in explaining marital satisfaction”. With both of them in it for the right reasons, they’re most likely to weather all the ups and downs together.
3. Constructive Communication and Conflict Resolution
No couple is conflict-free, but the key is how you manage disagreements. Happy couples talk openly, listen empathically, and resolve problems instead of “winning” an argument. The same study by José Abreu-Afonso and collaborators also indicates that “communication was also identified as a strong predictor of marital satisfaction”. Positive ways of communicating—such as emotional expressiveness, clarification, and validation—strengthen trust and closeness, whereas negativity and withdrawal undermine satisfaction.
2. Trust, Safety, and Mutual Respect
Trust is the building block of any long-term relationship. It’s more about feeling safe being vulnerable, knowing that the other person has your best interests, and respecting one another’s boundaries. As psychotherapist Natacha Duke describes, “a healthy relationship at its core is based on empathy and kindness, reliability and commitment, respecting each other’s boundaries, and being able to work as a team”. Once respect and trust exist, both partners can relax into the relationship and develop together.
1. Active Appreciation and Expressing Gratitude
If there is one bad habit that all the happiest couples share, it is a common practice of expressing thankfulness. Expressing gratitude, observing little kindness, and thanking your partner for each effort are a few of the things that can make something ordinary fun. A study quoted by Verywell Mind discovers that “couples who feel grateful for each other tend to feel closer and better personally.” It’s an easy habit, but one that rewards with joy and intimacy.
Strong relationships don’t depend on heroic acts or fortune—actually, they’re built every day on acceptance, enjoyment, uniqueness, commitment, communication, trust, and most importantly, appreciation. These indicators don’t assure a fairy-tale ending, but they tip the balance in your favor for a long-term relationship.