Let’s be real—if you’re a person who prides themselves on their work, respects initiative, and demands accountability, chances are you have a sixth sense about the type of comments that make you cringe. Respect isn’t only built by hard work; it’s also guarded by how we communicate and treat other people. Some words, however, are like kryptonite for respect, particularly to those who work hard and aim for excellence. These are 11 things that immediately cause diligent individuals to lose respect, beginning with the worst of them.
11. “You try too hard.”
This one hurts because it’s a quiet dig at ambition. In research from Personality and Individual Differences, individuals who tear down others and use insecurities as weapons are dealing with their own issues of self-esteem. Rather than work to improve themselves, they prefer to bring everyone else down to their level. For the industrious, this saying is an indicator of and lack of motivation.
10. “It’s not a big deal.”
Downplaying the significance of duties or tasks is a telltale symptom of laziness or a sense of entitlement. According to psychiatrist Neel Burton, individuals who have low ambition and a sense of urgency tend to use this excuse to procrastinate. Ambitious individuals understand that even the little things count—the micro-habits translate to massive outcomes.
9. “I’ve always done it this way.”
Change is not only inevitable, but resisting it is usually a product of comfort, not competence. Hardworking people, as a study by Management of Change reports, are receptive to new thoughts and believe they can adapt. When a person holds on to the past with this sentence, it implies that he is afraid to grow and do not want to venture out of their comfort zone.
8. “You got lucky”
Success is seldom about luck. Most successful people have worked hard, learned from failure, and persevered. If someone says “you got lucky,” it’s often a coping mechanism for their own stagnation, as YourTango points out. It’s an excuse to dismiss diligence and not take action themselves.
7. “Anyone could do that.”
This sentence is a double whammy—it’s dismissive and reflects a lack of accountability. Psychotherapist William Berry says those who utter this are dealing with discomfort by remaining in their comfort zone, instead of doing the work. Hard-working individuals recognize that effort and competency count, and they have lost respect for individuals who downplay achievement.
6. “I deserve it because I’ve been here forever.”
Longevity does not equate to quality. In workplaces and relationships alike, holding out for rewards for mere longevity is an entitlement mentality. Diligent individuals appreciate a consistent effort, not temporal exchanges. They wish to see improvement, not permanence.
5. “Things never work out for me.”
Playing victim is an instant path to losing respect. Instead of owning up to mistakes and working on improving, others like to blame others and wallow in self-pity. Dedicated individuals take problems head-on and use setbacks as chances to grow.
4. “I’ll figure it out later.”
Procrastination is the productivity killer. Occasional late starts are no issue, but chronic delaying of tasks indicates a lack of discipline. Leaders and hard workers use self-discipline, not occasional spurts of motivation, to deliver.
3. “That’s not my job.”
Initiative makes or breaks any team or partnership. Refusal to pitch in or assist beyond one’s role or job description signals a lack of support and work ethic. It is necessary to set boundaries, but employing this sentence as an excuse for not doing something is a fast track to not being respected.
2. “I don’t know”
Curiosity and willingness to learn are the signatures of diligent individuals. Those who employ the “I don’t know” excuse to evade effort or development are losing out. Psychologist Nick Wignall observes that emotionally immature individuals tend to use this phrase to remain within their comfort zone, as opposed to finding answers or acquiring new skills.
1. “That’s not fair
Life is not always fair, and the most successful individuals are those who face challenges as they arise. Psychologist Jennifer Kunst suggests that pleading for fairness is merely a means of shirking responsibility. Hard work respects those who accept reality and own up, not those who demand justice to avoid responsibility.
If you find these words spilling over into your own conversations, it may be time to look within. Respect is founded on action, accountability, and a desire to learn—and nothing erases respect from a hard-working individual as quickly as language that sabotages those principles.