Have you ever felt that someone just takes all the energy right out of you? Maybe after a talk, you feel run down, like your thoughts were not recognized, or you even question yourself a little. If that sounds familiar to you, then you may be dealing with a narcissist, an egocentric personality, or an “energy vampire.” Let’s unpack the best ways of recognizing such people and keeping your calm, starting from the most secretive and going to the most obvious signs.
10. Seek Professional Help and Guidance
There are times when the circumstances are so overwhelming that you cannot handle them alone. The process of healing through therapy is really a change in one’s life. As per research by Kacel et al., patients who underwent therapy showed a significant reduction in stress and anxiety when facing narcissistic people. Therapeutic professionals could guide you in discovering various techniques of managing, planning limits, and regaining control over your life.
9. Establish a Support Network
You don’t have to handle this all by yourself. Have friends, family, or support groups near you that are able to understand what you are going through. Be honest and open with each other. An efficient support network not only provides you with affirmation but also helps you to remain stable, especially when a narcissist tries to separate you from your group or make you question your reality.
8. Develop Emotional Resilience
Developing emotional resilience is a process of getting suited up with armor for going into combat. It involves being aware of your feelings, being able to recognize manipulation, and holding fast to your boundaries. As cited by experts, emotional resilience generates better mental well-being and self-esteem. It is a skill that can be developed by practice, but it’s worth the effort.
7. Identify and Manage Manipulation
Narcissists and egotists are experts in manipulation. Watch out for gaslighting, guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, and victimhood. If you catch yourself being targeted with these behaviors, believe your instincts and seek corroboration from others you can trust. Avoid the trap of taking responsibility for their feelings or behavior.
6. Set and Maintain Clear Boundaries
Boundaries are your best protection. Be specific about what you will and won’t accept, and communicate these boundaries clearly and assertively. If a person crosses the boundary, enforce limits—remove yourself from the room, shut down the conversation, or restrict contact. According to Charlie Health, boundaries are more about keeping yourself safe than changing the other person.
5. Practice Assertive Communication
Assertiveness is not aggression—it’s clarity and confidence. Express your feelings and needs using “I” statements, not blame or accusation. Instead of “You never listen to me,” say “I feel hurt when my opinions aren’t respected.” This will be less likely to provoke defensiveness and more likely to make your point.
4. Apply Emotional Detachment and the Gray Rock Method
Narcissists live for emotional responses. By being calm and emotionally distant, you take away their joy in knowing they can rile you. The Gray Rock Technique—giving short, matter-of-fact responses—disinterests them in you, which stifles manipulative tactics. This is not suppressing emotions but dealing with them in healthy manners outside of the situation with the narcissist.
3. Practice Self-Care
It is draining to work with narcissists and selfish individuals. Make time for activities that fill your emotional tanks—exercise, meditation, a hobby, or spending time with nurturing friends. Self-care is also about setting limits and saying no when you must. As noted by Jasmine Cobb, LCSW, firm boundaries and assertive communication are required in maintaining your energy.
2. Adapt Expectations and Know When to Leave
It is not possible to modify the behavior of a narcissist or a deeply selfish individual unless they desire to change, and it is seldom. In some situations, isolating yourself or terminating the relationship might be the best thing to do, particularly when your psychological well-being is impacted. Being on the receiving end of ongoing emotional or physical abuse, being continuously manipulated, or feeling unsafe are situations in which one should leave immediately.
1. Spot the Signs: Key Behaviors of Narcissists and Selfish People
Let’s be real—identifying these people is half the fight. Here are some classic tells:
- They hijack conversations, always redirecting attention back to themselves.
- They have no empathy and seldom think about your needs or feelings.
- They give little and take much, making relationships feel lopsided.
- They insist on their way and have no willingness to compromise.
- They blame others and won’t take responsibility.
- They always need to be in the spotlight.
- They employ manipulation techniques such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and victim mentality.
- They might be charming initially, but leave you feeling depleted, nervous, or uncertain.
Aimee Daramus, PsyD, put it that egocentric people usually take the lead in talking and have a hard time showing true empathy. Moreover, according to the American Psychological Association, selfishness is the act of only engaging in behaviors that promote one’s interests, notwithstanding others being harmed. Hence, if you happen to be with such a person and you are familiar with these kinds of people, the first thing you need to know is that it is not you against the world. There are also proven methods for safeguarding your energy and wellness. Keep up your courage, be strong in your boundaries, and go on; don’t hesitate to consider yourself first.