Heartbreak can be a tidal wave—sudden, overwhelming, and inescapable. A breakup of an extended relationship, a sudden breakup, or a divorce are all examples of how heartbreak can hit. The road to healing is never a straight line, but there are things you can do to begin piecing yourself back together again.
1. Let Yourself Grieve
After a relationship ends, it’s not only the person you miss; it’s also the memories you shared. You’re also grieving established routines, inside humor, plans, and the life you had envisioned the two of you having. It’s entirely natural to feel a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to relief and disorientation. From HelpGuide, “Grief is a natural reaction to loss, and the breakup or divorce of a love relationship involves multiple losses.” Don’t attempt to suppress those emotions. Cry if you must. It’s alright. Research indicates that crying is a healthy component of the healing process.
2. Give Yourself Space
You may be tempted to check in with your ex, troll their social media account, or leave the lines of communication open. But staying too attached can leave you mired in the hurt. Permit yourself to mute, unfollow, or block them—whatever it takes to create space for you to breathe. And if they’re reaching out in ways that feel confusing or hurtful, it’s okay to set boundaries. Supportiv puts it well: “You aren’t obligated to keep talking to someone or following someone on social media if it isn’t healthy for you.”
3. Lean on Your People
You don’t have to do it alone. Turn to your family, friends, or groups. Talk to someone who will listen without passing judgment. At times, a good friend can do the trick; other times, a stranger—a counselor, a colleague, or even a person you bump into accidentally—do the job. Surrounding yourself with others who believe in you and remind you of yourself can make a difference.
4. Confront the Pain, Reclaim Your Spaces
It’s okay to steer clear of places that remind you of your ex, but eventually, confronting those memories can help you reclaim your life. Go to that park, coffee shop, or favorite restaurant—not to dwell on the past, but to make new memories, just for you. My Therapist Within puts it this way: “The longer you postpone the inevitable step of acknowledging the pain, the more festered your wound will become.” You dare to go through with it.
5. Avoid Numbing Out
It’s simple to grab hold of quick fixes—alcohol, junk food, distractions, even a new relationship. But they usually only temporarily stave off the healing. Instead, try turning to more positive methods of coping, such as journaling, exercise, or having open conversations. Rebounds and substances may seem like a temporary escape, but they create more hurt in the long term.
6. Rediscover Who You Are
Breakups make you feel as though you’ve lost a part of yourself. But this is also an opportunity to reconnect to those things that make you feel most alive. Do something new. Return to a past passion you lost touch with. Take a class, initiate a creative venture, or simply spend time on something that feels good and purposeful. These are the moments that rebuild your sense of self.
7. Take Your Space Back
If you shared living space—or even just spent a lot of time in the same room—your environment can be packed with memories. Small changes can get you off to a new start. Changing your bedroom, redecorating, or even just getting a plant or putting up some new artwork can make your living area feel like yours again. Supportiv gets it right: “Decorating can be therapeutic, and it’s always good to have a place where you feel comfortable.”
8. Look After Your Body and Mind
Heartbreak is exhausting. You may always feel exhausted or just be making it through the day. Make an effort to look after yourself like you would if you were ill. Sleep when you can, have actual meals, and exercise. Simple things—showering, walking, listening to music—can make you feel a bit more in control.
9. Think About What You’ve Learned
Even the most hurtful relationships can teach us something. When you’re ready, take some time to reflect on what you learned. What did this relationship teach you about what you need, want, and deserve? HelpGuide says it this way: “In times of emotional crisis, there are opportunities to grow and learn.” Growth doesn’t arrive in an instant, but it does arrive.
10. Be Patient With Yourself
Healing doesn’t follow a timeline. Some days will feel like steps forward, and others like steps back. That’s okay. The hurt won’t last forever, even if it feels like it right now. Eventually, the pain softens, the memories sting less, and new dreams begin to take shape. Go at your own pace. You’re not falling behind—you’re finding your way.