If you have ever felt disoriented after a discussion, wondering if you’re crazy, questioning your feelings, or unsure of what’s real, you’ve been gaslighted. This manipulative tactic toys with your perception of reality, and you find yourself wondering if your thoughts, memories, or gut feelings are real. And the worst part? It’s often from the people you trust the most—partners, family, friends, or coworkers. Let’s deconstruct some of the most destructive gaslighting phrases, what they say, and how to respond in a way that honors your truth.
4. “You’re overthinking it.”
This phrase can seem harmless at first, but it generally comes across as belittling legitimate fears. You bring up something bothering you—such as feeling disconnected from someone you care about—and instead of talking about it, they tell you that you’re thinking too much about it.
A powerful way to respond is: “I’m bringing this up because it matters to me. Ignoring it won’t solve anything. This keeps the focus on your emotions and reinforces that what you’re saying deserves to be heard. According to Psychology Today, affirming your feelings is a key step in resisting emotional invalidation.
3. “Everyone agrees with me.”
This one is meant to make you feel like you’re alone, like you’re the only one with an issue, and therefore, you must be wrong. Either “Everyone thinks you’re overreacting” or “It’s not just me,” it’s a means of silencing you.
Your ideal comeback? Tell them: “Unless someone told me that to my face, I won’t speculate. I’m speaking to you about how I feel, and that matters.”. By doing this, you deny the temptation of false consensus and stay grounded in your reality—a technique recommended by Psychology Today for fending off this sort of manipulation.
2. “That never happened.”
This is probably the most frustrating gaslighting tactic—outright denial. Picture bringing up a promise made, such as a job promotion or a private chat, and being informed, “I never said that. You’re confusing me.”
Instead of getting bogged down in self-doubt, you might say: “I clearly remember what happened. If there is a mix-up, we can clear it up—but my memory is solid.”
1. “You’re too sensitive.”
Perhaps the most maddening gaslighting sentence, this one will attempt to deflect blame from someone’s hurtful words or actions and place it on your reaction. You call them out, and they tell you, “You’re being too sensitive—it was just a joke.”
Try this instead: “I’m allowed to feel what I feel. Just because it didn’t hurt you doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt me. This type of response shifts the responsibility back where it is, and strengthens that your emotions are not negotiable.
How to Protect Yourself from Gaslighting
If something doesn’t feel right, don’t brush it off because someone else tells you it’s “nothing.” That little voice inside your head is there for a purpose—listen to it. Monitor events, conversations, or activity by keeping a journal or saving messages. This can allow you to keep in touch with what occurred over time.
Establish boundaries. If someone consistently discounts or dismisses your feelings, restrict their access to your internal world. And don’t hesitate to seek outside advice. Whether it’s a good friend or a therapist, discussing things with an objective person can provide you with valuable perspective.
The Emotional Toll—and How to Start Healing
Gaslighting not only baffles you in the moment—it erodes your confidence and mental health over time. According to psychologist Amelia Kelley, Ph.D., gaslighting is among the most destructive forms of emotional abuse, leaving individuals feeling anxious, alone, and questioning their sanity. There is a way out.
Healing starts with the recognition that all of this wasn’t your fault. Trusting yourself again will take time and support—count on the people who listen without judgment and tell you over and over who you are. Whether it’s therapy, setting boundaries, or simply doing things that make you whole again, every step matters.
Charlie Health advocates for self-care in recovery. Pursuing the activities that bring you joy, being kind to yourself, and embracing your strengths help you take back your identity and solidity.
Gaslighting flourishes in uncertainty and self-doubt. The better you can recognize it—and counter with truth and confidence—the greater the control you reclaim. You have the right to be heard, respected, and grounded within your truth.